“Let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing” ~ Kahlil Gibran- The Prophet
It is incomprehensible how fast time slips by after you lose a loved one. October 17, 2022 marked 25 years since my beloved Dad passed away. I thought about the memories surrounding his departure that day. October 20th, 1997 was his funeral, and I reminisced about those moments as well. Remembering sitting completely numb in the first row at his funeral service, while Peter Brockley honored my war veteran father with the trumpeting of the Last Post. I still can’t listen to the Last Post without being transported right back to my grief of that day.
What I didn’t notice on October 20th of this year was that it had been 1000 days since my Yeti went home to live with God. Today, on the 24th, it is 1004 days, or 33 months. Staring into space, in stunned silence, I wonder, how can that be? Although not as present as his spirit once was, I still feel him from time to time, encouraging me to move forward and letting me know that I’m doing great and that he’s proud of me. I still feel the everlasting love flowing through me from beyond the veil, love that we once shared in this life. Love really is all encompassing and eternal, if you open your heart to let it be so.
Time. Songs about Time by Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones and Cyndi Lauper pop into my head. We live our lives in the constraints of time. Setting alarms, meeting reminders, appointment scheduling and marking days of the year. “It’s only 2 months until Christmas Eve!”. “It’s my friends birthday soon”! Scratching reminders on calendars and plugging them into our phones. Then, it comes to THAT day of the year, I think to myself, I cannot believe it’s been 1000 days since the Yeti went home. 1000 days since our last conversation, the last “I love you”. 1000 days since my world changed forever.
Throughout those thousand days, I continue to navigate the grief journey, learning lessons and walking in faith and love. I have not let it destroy me, but instead, have looked for every reason to recover. Countless family members and friends have taken my hand and made sure I know that I am loved. In turn, I have reached out to others in dark places and shared my understanding and compassion, so that they would know love in their hour of desperation and heartbreak.
It really is miraculous to come out of a very dark place where everything was a shade of grey, to be able to deeply appreciate the colors of nature in the autumn, laughter of friends and the presence of loved ones, whether near or far.
My heart didn’t shrink when the Yeti left, it expanded to let love shine through me. I remember when my Dad died, thinking I’d never smile again…. and then one day, I did! That was a moment of growth, and appreciation, knowing that I was able to heal from my unspeakable loss.
Losing the Yeti has given me many moments of heartbreak, frustration, weakness and sorrow, all the while I was being filled with love from God and my people, helping me heal, grow, learn and share the love that I have inside of me.
1000 days.
As the Yeti watches me from the other side of the veil, I have found renewed hope, recovery, purpose and reasons to stick around. He wants me to keep going, keep growing and to keep loving. My mind is clear, my heart is open, my faith restored.
1000 days of remembering my Yeti. True love never dies.