I Was Thinking The Other Day….
The fascinating thing about life is that you never stop learning. Lately, I’ve been thinking about psychological pain. Most people are walking through life carrying struggles and personal pain in one form or another.
It could be pain of losing someone you love, pain of divorce, pain of caring for a sick child, pain of personal illness. There is more pain to go around than I like to think about. The point is we all have something that hurts more than we can describe. Often, people manage their troubles on their own. Some get professional help through various forms of therapy, some take medication, some people talk to friends. Thank God for friends. Really.
Wallowing or Coping?
I’ve known people to wallow in their pain, and maybe, people thought that maybe I was wallowing as I learned to navigate grief. I didn’t think I was, but I know I had a difficult time adjusting to life without the Yeti. The sudden, unexpected and dramatic loss was very close to more than I could bare. I didn’t want to share the bitterness I felt due to my loss, but I shared my compassion for others experiencing a similar , life altering event.
One day, it occurred to me that when I walked into a room, people probably thought “here comes that grieving woman again”. Grief is a dastardly thing. Unless you are personally and forcefully immersed in it, you’ll never really understand what that invisible cloak can do to someone.
Don’t Be A Thistle Person
I wanted to feel better. I really did. Everyday. I didn’t want to feel that suffocating weight of grief every moment, but that is the price of loving someone. When you lose them it just hurts, but don’t let your pain make you prickly like a thistle. Some people are beautiful humans, but can hurt you when you get to close to their pain.
It is really important to not take your personal pain and turn it outwards to other people in a damaging way. In a hateful and hurtful way. As much as you hurt, it is important to remember that other people are hurting too. Spreading your pain to other suffering people isn’t helpful. Do you really feel better when you attack someone with your raised voices and spiteful words? I’m thinking you don’t. It just spreads your anger or frustration further. You cannot imagine how a few harsh words can release tears that are just below the surface. Tears that people push down everyday as they force their smiles and bravely walk through life.
Try To Be Mindful of Others
In a time when we preach about anti bullying campaigns, love one another, be kind, etc., we must really think about what that means. What does it mean to you to love one another? Does it mean love one another, but…. ? But when what? It means LOVE ONE ANOTHER, period.
So, lower your voice. Realize we all have stuff. We all have our own reasons for hurting. They may not be the same as yours, but I can guarantee, when you raise your voice or speak poorly to someone, the pain spreads. The negative emotions spread. This is not loving one another. While you are fighting your pain, remember love. Remember compassion and remember kindness. It’s not easy to do and maybe you need help to manage your pain. Reach out. Talk to someone.
It would make the world a nicer and gentler place.
** You may not agree with me, and that’s okay. This blog is a place where I can come to write and clear my mind. It’s been a place for me where I have gone to manage my pain by writing about it. This is my therapy. 🙂
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